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January-March Secrets!

Editor’s note:

I’m sorry it has taken me so long to post these (they were submitted in January and February)! I don’t have a good excuse, I’ve just been a little overwhelmed for the past few months for a few reasons and got behind. But as always, I have no intentions of abandoning TerpSecret. As long as one person in the world has a secret to share, I’ll be here.

Also, both of these make me wish I could respond to the people who submitted them. As crazy as my life gets sometimes, I always want to help people who reach out to me. If you don’t have a secret but need advice, I’m here to help.

❤ Sarah


“My ex-girlfriend and I broke up, but we decided to have sex one last time and my condom broke. I didn’t cum and she took plan B. She began bleeding a week later which is 2 weeks before her normal period. I’ve been freaking out every day and have had extreme anxiety. I tried to be there for her, but she abruptly stopped talking to me and won’t return any of my calls.

After this experience, I have come to the conclusion that I never want to have sex again or ever involve myself in a relationship. There is way too much pain and stress associated with it.”


“Every once in a while I’ll do this thing, where I lay in bed all day pretending I’m dead just to see if anyone would notice if I killed myself overnight. I’ve come to the conclusion that my body would have to start to smell before anyone even tried knocking on my door. The longest time was 42 hours. Two days I laid in bed and didn’t make a single sound, didn’t eat or watch TV. Nobody even texted to see where I was. I stayed away from home to see how long it would take someone to notice I was gone. Two weeks until someone tried to get a hold of me. If I died, it would take my family days to realize it.”

May Secrets!

We all have secrets, so unleash yours.

We all have secrets, so unleash yours.

“I have an eating disorder. I thought I was over it, I used to be bulimic to the point that I’d be nauseous if I ate, and then it transformed to Anorexia when it came to much to handle. My friend had me start smoking weed, it made me hungry and not give a fuck. I’ve been smoking since I was 16, and I thought I was over my disorder. The past few days I have not smoked, I can not eat and when I try to I feel like I’m going to throw up until I finally just made myself. I realize today that I never got over it, I masked the symptoms, but I never got to the root of the issue. The real problem is I hate myself.”

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“I drink at work. On the job. My coffee always has Jamison. My coke always has rum. And the saddest part, is I’m so functional no one notices.”

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“I never feel like I’m good enough in anything I do. It’s gotten to the point where I don’t try so I have an excuse afterwards. It makes me settle and I am tired of settling, but I’m stuck with this habit of self-sabotage.”

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“I keep myself awake at night envisioning what it would be like to get in fights with people I don’t like.”

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“I resent my parents for not doing things right the first time. They love me and I love them, but they screwed up my life.”

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“I have an eating disorder.
Finally realizing this after the third doctor has told me to see someone.
I fight it though sometimes I find myself having gone a day or two having eaten nothing but a cup of coffee I don’t need help.
I’ve figured it out so far and I’m working on it.
I can be strong.
sometimes…”

——-

“I hate the way I act when I drink because I know everyone else hates it to, so when my friends ask me to go out I make excuses just to avoid being talked about behind my back.”

March Secrets!

“I might take a job on the other side of the country just to be close to a girl I’m falling in love with. Oh, and she has a boyfriend. Am I being stupid?”

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“I’m pretty sure all of my friends actually hate me.”

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“I think I’m borderline eating disorder, but I don’t know I could ever admit that to anyone I care about.”

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“I’ve been home for over 24 hours and my family just noticed I was here. And then when they noticed they asked me why I was even there in the first place. Last I checked I lived here too.”

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“My bf gets weird whenever I mention my rehab visit. It was way before we even met, and he’s never even met the drug addict me. But still he gets all quiet. I AM NOT ASHAMED THAT I SOUGHT HELP FOR MY PROBLEM.”

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“My two roommates are so immature. But I don’t mean silly or goofy, I mean the way they handle situations and what their life goals are is so below their age, it’s ridiculous. As much as I love being friends with them, they’re hard to put up with. I feel like they think I’m not fun or interesting, but I think I’m just acting my age.”

December Secrets!

“I make up excuses to get out of things all the time, and I feel terrible about it. I’m trying to stop, but I’m a perpetual liar and it’s been so difficult for me to break the habit. I don’t know how to help myself get past this.”

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“We both know I’ve had more experience than you sexually. Me being the girlfriend, I know that probably bugs you. I wish I could tell you that when you and I are together intimately it’s the only time I’ve ever felt that loved, that appreciated. You just look at me like … I’m the only one you’d ever want to be with, and nobody had ever looked at me like that.”

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“My friend is completely settling.  She’s afraid of being alone so she settled with someone she didn’t think would hurt her.  He is definitely below her league.  She could do so much better.  Deep down I don’t think she’s really happy.  I just don’t have the heart to tell her what everyone is thinking.”

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“I gave a guy head for money before. I was a drug addict and single at the time. Now I’m clean and dating the man of my dreams and life is going so well. I’m just afraid you are going to realize I used to be a whore and leave me.”

November Secrets!

“‘I’m slowly losing my friends. I don’t have time to be there for them even though they are always there for me. I don’t deserve them. I’m pushing them away and I hate it. Some days I just want to quit all my extracurriculars so I can be normal and have friends but I can’t ever bring myself to because I don’t want to be a quitter.’

I know this is an old secret but I know who wrote this one. It’s been almost 2 years since she sent this secret in. And nothing is any different. She used to be my best friend, but now she’s pushing me away and I feel like I don’t even know her anymore.I’m going through a really hard time right now and she doesn’t even know about it. I need my best friend back, I miss her terribly.”

October Secrets!

“I’ve read just about all the secrets since they first came out. I’ve seen some interesting admissions. I don’t really care to judge cause quite frankly I’m sick of being judged by people too. I just want to be friends with you all. Have a nice day.”

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“I feel like all of my relationships I have with people are toxic. Full of either really great times or really awful times. Nothing in the middle. I think it’s time for a change, the only question is will I be able to let go?”

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Ever since I hit 21 everyone seems to have forgotten that I had bulimia and now everyone chalks up my eating habits and throwing up to being hungover all the time. Now everyone just thinks I’m an alcoholic, which is much more acceptable apparently.”

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“I messed everything up. Almost 4 years has passed.  But I can’t let you go in my heart, my mind.  I miss you more every day even though I talk to you every day. But you have moved on & I pretend I am ok with it.  But it hurts & I cry a little bit every day hoping eventually the pain will subside & no more tears will fall.

I love you and Im sorry.”

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“As much as I hate you, I still think about you and wonder what things would be like if we were still together.”

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“Sometimes, I secretly wish while I’m driving that I’ll get in an accident just to see who actually comes to visit me at the hospital.”

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“I cheated on you and I’ve never forgiven myself for that. I broke up with you because I couldn’t stand the guilt, and I still can’t. It’s been three years, and I still wonder if we would still be together if I hadn’t fucked it all up.”

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“I keep telling everyone that I’m better, but I contemplate suicide all the time.”

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“I miss the guy of my dreams <3”

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“I move a lot from state to state unfortunately and recently I moved away from someone I really care about and now I can’t stop thinking about her. Every night I have nightmares of her dyeing and it being my fault. It’s overwhelming and I don’t want to tell her because I’m scared she will forget our promise.”

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“I cancelled a meeting today so I could tan on the mall. I probably should feel bad, but I really don’t!”

September Secrets!

“I wish I could fall in love.”

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“We haven’t been dating long, but I know right now that I want to spend the rest of my life with you.”

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“YOU are my ex. YOU told me what to wear, how to be, and made me feel guilty for being anything close to attractive. I’m with someone else now, who actually treats me right. But today, I was nice to a guy and he got the wrong message and grabbed at me, tried to feel me up. I told him I loved the man I was with now and he accepted that and left. After he did, I cried so hard. I felt so guilty. I called my boyfriend, no answer. I texted him EVERY detail about what happened. And I’m still waiting for him to call back (he’s most likely asleep).

After such a long relationship with YOU I don’t know how to have a healthy one. I LOVE THIS MAN I AM WITH NOW, but still your rules and judgments haunt me every day. I don’t want him to leave me, so I still find myself following your rules, even if I know that HE is way less judgmental, and so much more loving than you. I escaped you physically, how do I escape you mentally?”

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“Have you ever thought about ending it all? Because things aren’t going your way? Me too.  Ending it all is just a permanent solution to a temporary problem! Don’t do it! Someone somewhere would never be the same if you did!

Shit had been incredibly rough for me lately, had those same thoughts. Take a breath, relax, knock out or of those problems at a time, and you’ll be ok. Doesn’t hurt to pray about it either.

-Sincerely,

A guy who has even down quite the hellacious road lately-BUT- is surviving and overcoming to Succeed!”