ALERT THE PRESS: False alarm.

Have no fear, the College Park Cuddler is a phony. (I mean, not the real one. Just the one who sent me a secret.)

I JUST received a message from the same name and e-mail saying, “I was the one who made up the College Park cuddler secret. It was a joke. I’m a stupid college kid. Get over it.”

Phew, glad that’s over. I had no idea that was going to cause such a scene.

I was pretty certain that it was not a serious threat to begin with, however over 68% of people who voted in the poll wanted me to report it to authorities. Initially, I took it as a joke and was planning to take it lightly, but I was almost immediately contacted by someone saying that it was something that needed to be reported.

I was getting really mixed responses on what people thought that I should do, which is why I added the poll. If a majority of people were honestly that concerned about it, I really would not have been left with much of a choice but to report it to officials.

Let this be a lesson: DON’T BE STUPID, GUYS. Things like this can really frighten people and cause a lot of controversy.

Thanks for coming forward and not wasting more of my and everyone else’s time.


CP Cuddler Secret: To report, to not to report? POLL

So, the CP Cuddler secret I just received is stirring up a lot of attention already.

(The Diamondback’s blog has already caught wind of it.)

If you didn’t see the secret, it said, “I’m the College Park cuddler. Some may not understand why I like to get in bed with girls, but I think it’s the sexiest thing ever. To be in a bed with a girl who has no idea I’m there turns me on more than anything. I will strike again.”

**NOTE: If you sent me this secret or know who did, I suggest coming forward right now; particularly if you weren’t serious. It will save you, me, and everyone else A LOT of trouble in the long-run. 

I have a tough call to make as far as whether or not I need to report it to officials. Some are saying that I need to report it, while others are saying that it’s probably just a joke. Either way, should this person be reprimanded?


There was no valid name or e-mail address attached, and I don’t know that they would be able to do anything about it as far as figuring out who it was. And beyond that, would they be able to prove anything just from the post? Would the UMCP police even do anything about it?

From a “secret keeper” perspective, I feel as though I need to keep this under wraps. I want to keep my promise of not releasing names of secret-senders to the public.

From a journalistic perspective, I feel as though I need to get the word out there. I can’t help it, I think like a journalist. I always have, and I always will.

From a moral perspective, I feel as though I need to respect the safety of the students and the public interest. If you all really feel threatened by this, I might need to make the moral decision to protect everyone.

From a student’s perspective, I feel as though this is likely a joke, and this will cause me a lot of hassle, possibly for no reason. I know both how stupid students can be and how difficult dealing with the police can be.

I, of course, have the final say, but just out of curiosity, I want to hear what you think as UMD students.

Do you feel threatened? Is it worth the trouble? Could we actually catch the CP Cuddler?

Vote now and tell me what you think!