July Secrets!

“Lately I keep having recurring dreams of being back at Maryland. It’s been 3 years since I graduated. I think I feel a bit of regret of how I did things. I didn’t do too well especially in the beginning. I had undiagnosed PTSD from having cancer as a child along with crippling social anxiety, ADD, plus other problems from having cancer. I eventually got help. While it’s been tough but I’m as happy and productive as I’ve ever been. I’m now a masters student at Johns Hopkins. I just wanna say don’t be afraid to get help. Stigmas of mental illness are slowly but surely changing. Hopefully one day I don’t have to feel the need to say this as a secret. As always have a nice day and GO TERPS !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

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“At first this hurt, but at least now I know who my real friends are.”

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“I’ve been without my ex for two years, moved on with a new guy totally happy. I got stuck in a conversation with my ex’s mom. He misses me. He knows he messed up. He loves me still. Honestly, I thought I was over him, hearing he wants me still makes me take two leaps backwards. Do I still love you? I don’t know.”

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New look!

This is insignificant, but for the first time since TerpSecret’s inception (almost three years ago), I updated the layout. Whether you’re a TerpSecret regular or a first-time visitor, let me know what you think!

Thanks!

Love,
Sarah

May Secrets!

We all have secrets, so unleash yours.

We all have secrets, so unleash yours.

“I have an eating disorder. I thought I was over it, I used to be bulimic to the point that I’d be nauseous if I ate, and then it transformed to Anorexia when it came to much to handle. My friend had me start smoking weed, it made me hungry and not give a fuck. I’ve been smoking since I was 16, and I thought I was over my disorder. The past few days I have not smoked, I can not eat and when I try to I feel like I’m going to throw up until I finally just made myself. I realize today that I never got over it, I masked the symptoms, but I never got to the root of the issue. The real problem is I hate myself.”

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“I drink at work. On the job. My coffee always has Jamison. My coke always has rum. And the saddest part, is I’m so functional no one notices.”

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“I never feel like I’m good enough in anything I do. It’s gotten to the point where I don’t try so I have an excuse afterwards. It makes me settle and I am tired of settling, but I’m stuck with this habit of self-sabotage.”

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“I keep myself awake at night envisioning what it would be like to get in fights with people I don’t like.”

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“I resent my parents for not doing things right the first time. They love me and I love them, but they screwed up my life.”

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“I have an eating disorder.
Finally realizing this after the third doctor has told me to see someone.
I fight it though sometimes I find myself having gone a day or two having eaten nothing but a cup of coffee I don’t need help.
I’ve figured it out so far and I’m working on it.
I can be strong.
sometimes…”

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“I hate the way I act when I drink because I know everyone else hates it to, so when my friends ask me to go out I make excuses just to avoid being talked about behind my back.”

April Secrets!

Anyone ever get the feeling of:

‘Hey mom and dad I wanna do these great things!’
-me

‘Well that’s great, we support you. But you shouldnt do that, you should do this.’
-parents

Apparently I can’t live my dreams, I have to live the dreams they want me to dream. I also think it’s horse-shit.

#forevertheblacksheep”

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“I pretend that I love what I’m doing but I really just do it all to prove a point.”

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My biological dad pretty much made it apparent that he didn’t think I would amount to anything and was a complete failure because I smoked weed. (Which is only because he smokes weed and never did anything). He kicked me out a longtime ago, and he doesn’t even know this but I’m in college again. I’m an anthropology major. I plan to get my masters. I have STRAIGHT A’S. And before every test I get as high as possible. In 3 out of 4 of my classes I have the best grade. Am I a failure still, daddy?”

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I don’t greet people first because I don’t want to exist.”

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“After three months of applying and getting rejected, I finally got a job offer. Now, I don’t feel like I deserve it.”

March Secrets!

“I might take a job on the other side of the country just to be close to a girl I’m falling in love with. Oh, and she has a boyfriend. Am I being stupid?”

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“I’m pretty sure all of my friends actually hate me.”

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“I think I’m borderline eating disorder, but I don’t know I could ever admit that to anyone I care about.”

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“I’ve been home for over 24 hours and my family just noticed I was here. And then when they noticed they asked me why I was even there in the first place. Last I checked I lived here too.”

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“My bf gets weird whenever I mention my rehab visit. It was way before we even met, and he’s never even met the drug addict me. But still he gets all quiet. I AM NOT ASHAMED THAT I SOUGHT HELP FOR MY PROBLEM.”

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“My two roommates are so immature. But I don’t mean silly or goofy, I mean the way they handle situations and what their life goals are is so below their age, it’s ridiculous. As much as I love being friends with them, they’re hard to put up with. I feel like they think I’m not fun or interesting, but I think I’m just acting my age.”

February Secrets!

“I was raped a few years ago and I’ve never told my current boyfriend that. I always kept it hidden, even from myself. But then last night while I was in bed with my boyfriend, all of the memories came flooding back to me and it kept all of me from bursting into tears. I don’t know where that came from or why it happened, but I hope I doesn’t happen again.”

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“I have the perfect girlfriend. Without a shadow of a doubt. I have concluded that regardless of who I date/ form a relationship with, that I will never be happy. Fuck if i know why either. So here’s to my liver…*cling*…because fuck it, I Quit. Here’s to she is so better than I deserve. By far. Here’s to me fucking it up at some point, just wait for it. Here’s to back to the single life of downward spiraling into loneliness. I can’t win. Ever. Here’s to alcohol. Cheers!”

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“I use guys to feel good about myself. Meaning if a guy doesn’t like me i feel worthless and my self-esteem plummets, and if a guy is into me i feel happy and content with myself. I currently feel like a worthless piece of shit because the guy I was talking to ended it out of the blue. I need to figure out how to find happiness within myself instead of relying on men but I don’t know how. That seems impossible.”