“I injured my foot 2 years ago which eventually caused a knee injury that hasn’t gone away. I’ve seen several doctors and tried physical therapy. Nothing seems to work. I’m falling more and more into a deep depression. Exercising helped me combat my depression and anxiety for years. It’s always been my shield. But now, I can’t to run or do anything aerobic without being pain. I just got laid off, physical ailments, and a dramatic experience with an ex. This year hasn’t produced anything positive thus far. I haven’t felt this low in a long time. My mind is going into dark places.”
“I’ve accomplished a lot in life, but I don’t think I’ll ever beat my scalp picking addiction.”
“I think most people who say they’re my friends just feel sorry for me because they think I’m weird.”
I’m sorry it has taken me so long to post these (they were submitted in January and February)! I don’t have a good excuse, I’ve just been a little overwhelmed for the past few months for a few reasons and got behind. But as always, I have no intentions of abandoning TerpSecret. As long as one person in the world has a secret to share, I’ll be here.
Also, both of these make me wish I could respond to the people who submitted them. As crazy as my life gets sometimes, I always want to help people who reach out to me. If you don’t have a secret but need advice, I’m here to help.
“My ex-girlfriend and I broke up, but we decided to have sex one last time and my condom broke. I didn’t cum and she took plan B. She began bleeding a week later which is 2 weeks before her normal period. I’ve been freaking out every day and have had extreme anxiety. I tried to be there for her, but she abruptly stopped talking to me and won’t return any of my calls.
After this experience, I have come to the conclusion that I never want to have sex again or ever involve myself in a relationship. There is way too much pain and stress associated with it.”
“Every once in a while I’ll do this thing, where I lay in bed all day pretending I’m dead just to see if anyone would notice if I killed myself overnight. I’ve come to the conclusion that my body would have to start to smell before anyone even tried knocking on my door. The longest time was 42 hours. Two days I laid in bed and didn’t make a single sound, didn’t eat or watch TV. Nobody even texted to see where I was. I stayed away from home to see how long it would take someone to notice I was gone. Two weeks until someone tried to get a hold of me. If I died, it would take my family days to realize it.”
“I couldn’t wait to be done with school since I started – for the reason that that I always felt trapped – and I couldn’t wait to start my adult life. Now that I’m actually done – and have my whole life in front of me – I feel lonely. Everyone is going their separate ways – starting their own lives and has things figured out and is growing up. And I’m still just me. I’ve never dated – (not because I’m ugly or anything – I’m pretty decent) I’m just kind of shy and I can’t flirt for sh*t. And for I while I had this heavy feeling on my chest – an empty feeling. How am I going to get rid of it – cause this lonely feeling is awful!”
“Most people think I’m just squeamish, when someone hangs themselves or is hug I can’t watch. I have to turn away, usually with a sound of horror. It’s not because it disgusts me. It’s because I did it an lived. I hung myself…”
“This site saved my sanity multiple times, I hope it’s not done.”
Don’t worry, it’s not. 🙂 -Sarah
“I’ve been a self-proclaimed bi-sexual woman for the past 10 years. I’ve only had two long term relationships, both with men and many people assume that means I like men more. I don’t. Sometimes I wonder if I like men at all. Don’t get me wrong I love my boyfriend, he’s my best-friend…but sometimes I think maybe that’s all he was supposed to be. Sometimes I think the worse thing I ever did was come out as bi, because honestly I think I’m a lesbian.”
“Lately I keep having recurring dreams of being back at Maryland. It’s been 3 years since I graduated. I think I feel a bit of regret of how I did things. I didn’t do too well especially in the beginning. I had undiagnosed PTSD from having cancer as a child along with crippling social anxiety, ADD, plus other problems from having cancer. I eventually got help. While it’s been tough but I’m as happy and productive as I’ve ever been. I’m now a masters student at Johns Hopkins. I just wanna say don’t be afraid to get help. Stigmas of mental illness are slowly but surely changing. Hopefully one day I don’t have to feel the need to say this as a secret. As always have a nice day and GO TERPS !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
“At first this hurt, but at least now I know who my real friends are.”
“I’ve been without my ex for two years, moved on with a new guy totally happy. I got stuck in a conversation with my ex’s mom. He misses me. He knows he messed up. He loves me still. Honestly, I thought I was over him, hearing he wants me still makes me take two leaps backwards. Do I still love you? I don’t know.”