May Secrets!

“I feel like everyone but me thinks I’m perfect, or that I should be perfect. Anyone else can get a B and it’s all good, but if I have a low A, let alone a B, that’s worrisome. I have to somehow get more leadership positions, never mind that my major activity leaves almost no time to sleep, let alone join other groups. I could keep going for hours…
Yet, at the same time I can’t really complain. There are people who do better in harder classes, there are other people with just as little time. But how do you tell your friends that you’re worried about your grades and expect sympathy when your bad grade might be their best grade? How do you tell people who think you’ve got it all together that you’ve felt like you were about to fall off a cliff this whole year? That you were so tense you couldn’t sleep because your back ached too much? And how do you tell them that and then explain how, at the same time you feel like you’re not doing enough? How do I finally feel like I’m good enough?”

——-

“I stole your boyfriend. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to, I promise. I understand if you hate me. I would hate me too.”

——-

“You were my best friend. How could you just walk away like that and not tell me why? All I ever wanted was for you to see what your doing to yourself. It hurt me to see you hurting. I miss you everyday…”

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“I think I finally found you, and that makes me the happiest Ive ever been, but also scares me to death. I pretend I dont care, and that its not a big deal, but it is, so please dont hurt me…”

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“I gave up on you, I’ve never felt so defeated.”

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“I was just reading all these posts and am seeing so many posts about weight. Just thought I’d add my thoughts. I’m 5’3 & 3/4″ weigh 120lbs wear a size zero or 1, depending on the story. I’ve been called both fat and skinny in my life, and actually in the past month. I admit I have let weight drive my life at times, but that was a mistake. Your weight and size is just a number. What other people call you is their opinion, much more often though it is their way of trying to feel better about themselves, as if calling you a name automatically made them skinnier or something. Your personality is in no way related to your weight, so unless your really concerned about your weight ignore people. If you are concerned though, don’t try crash diets, talk to your doctor to see if you are a healthy weight or not. There are so many body types in this world, just like eye and skin color, you can’t change it, but uniqueness makes you all beautiful. If i looked exactly like everyone else I would honestly be a bit freaked out!”

——-

“So, I’m one of those girls that like masturbating a lot.  It feels weird to tell you this, but I just love it.  I have trouble getting off during intercourse because I do it so much, and there’s nothing that pleases me more.  This is starting to affect my sex life, and I don’t mind if this is posted on the board, but I need help.  Please!”

A little help here?

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“I simply do not understand why making friends on this campus is so difficult. Without any idea where to start I’ve flown by two years here at UMD and really have no one I could call upon for help. Its depressing to be honest, instead of wallowing in my own disappointment I take more classes and work more hours at work. Making myself feel useful and needed.”

——-

“We met one time by chance in NYC. You showed me the best night I have ever had in my entire life. We still talk from time to time, and for some reason we’re comfortable enough with one another to have this pretend grand scheme to run away to Australia and get married. I love this more than you’ll ever understand. The opportunity to escape from reality in a simple conversation means more to me than I will ever be able to explain. My real secret? I wish it weren’t all pretend.”

——-

“I’m 5’4”, I weigh 120 pounds, and I wear that “impossible” size zero. I have curves, and I have never once been told that I look too skinny. I don’t starve myself, this is just the body type I was born with. I guess I was “blessed” with a fast metabolism. Insulting a skinny person is just as hurtful as insulting a fat person. I didn’t do anything to be this size except live my life like everyone else does, so I’m tired of hearing how “disgusting it is that girls want to starve themselves to be a size 0.” I don’t starve myself, and I’m not disgusting.”

——-

“I love you. Your my first real boyfriend, whom I truly love as a person. However, I am not IN love with you. I don’t want to leave you because you might be what I really want, but I have so little experience in the relationship world, I’d like to experience more. I want to see what else is out there but I don’t want to lose you in the process. I don’t want to put you on standby but I don’t want to play with your feelings neither.”

——-

“I am 5’2 and I weigh all of 127 pounds and I love my weight. I see girls being sad and depressed about their weight when they weigh no more than 130 pounds and their bodies aren’t sloppy nor disgusting looking. I have an hourglass figure and I love the way my hips come out. It makes my waist look so tiny and cute. I love my C cup boobs and my larger than stick-figured thighs. I wish all girls would embrace the way they look instead of wanting to look skinny as fuck with no shape at all. I personally hate it. Girls that wear size 0, it looks disgusting. There is nothing wrong with being thin but I hate seeing girls feeling down when they are not even fat. Yea, they might be a size 2,4,6,or 8 but wtf! Why is a size 0, everyone’s dream size.”

——-

“I frequently read the posts on here and over and over I see people depressed about how their parents see them. I just wanted to say that we all need to realize that one of the biggest parts of college is finding or creating who you are and will be in life. Remember that it’s your life, not theirs, to live. The sooner you accept that and start living life as your own person, the sooner the healing process can begin. You are special no matter what your parents or siblings say! You matter, but the only way you can fulfill that is by loving yourself and caring about who you are. Live your life, that’s why its called your life, not your parent’s life, not your sibling’s life. And when life is getting you down, just remember there are people who care, even if you cant see or hear them. People like myself who think that you matter. If you need help, just ask. People are willing and waiting to help you.

My two cents. <3”

——-

“I’m falling for you.”

——-

“I love my boyfriend dearly. He is kind hearted and loves me with all of his heart. He treats me so good and will do almost anything for me. There is one thing that I’ve been noticing though, I think he is retarded. Some of my family members noticed it and I am now picking up on little things that I might have overlooked during the honeymoon stages of our relationship. It is now beginning to agitate and frustrate me to the point where I am calling him a fucking retard in my head. It is also beginning to become embarrassing whenever we hang out with friends of my family. He just tends to say things that makes everyone look at him like “Wtf”. I don’t know what to do. =\”

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“I think I have fleas, but I’m too embarrassed to do anything about it.”

——-

“This could be the worst plan ever, but I’m so fucking excited.”

——-

“I have found my forbidden fruit, and it’s you. I will never be able to touch you, or get that close. You’re my best friend, but you’re his best friend too, and I know you would never betray him like that. I wish I had met you first, then maybe things would be different. I think I love you, and I think you have feelings for me, but neither of us would dare so, it’s pointless.”

——-

“I feel like my friends have given up on me and are just waiting for the phone call that my body just couldn’t take it anymore.

I love the freedom of my life here, but it’s slowly killing me.”

——-

“So I thought I liked you, you’re in my english class certain mornings, and you seemed like a nice guy to hang out with.
But you’re not a nice guy, ever since the last few weeks of classes. You’re more than not just nice, you’re a complete asshole! When I fell asleep at Mckeldin during late night why didn’t you wake me and invite me to your house? You just left me on the couch asleep with my homework, and when I woke up your were gone. Thanks for making me feel homeless (again)! Do know how far Baltimore is? Do you know how far my pillow and blankets are? That’s all I was asking for, but you snuck out of Mckeldin before I could even ask to crash on your couch.
I just wanted a friend I could study with, but it doesn’t look like you want that. Thank you anyway, don’t worry about me though I’ll be here where you left me… :(”

——-

“It’s taken a long time, but I think I can finally be okay without you. You really hurt me, but I think you’re screwing yourself over in the long run. I know I told you that I got nothing good from what we had, but honestly, that’s not true. I realized that I have the greatest friends and family in the world. They help me to see how beautiful and special I am everyday while you used me and made me feel like shit. Do I miss you? Yeah, of course I do. I’m always going to. But the thing is, I’m moving on to bigger and better things in life. You can’t even move on from your exgirlfriend. So good luck with life; don’t use me as your booty call again.”

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“I’m 5’7 and 140 pounds. I’m a size 6, and I’m relatively thin in comparison to some girls.

But since I’m constantly surrounded by girls who are double zeros and 90 pounds, I feel fat. I cry at my thighs, and I refuse to wear a lot of my shorts anymore because they make me look heavier. It’s not fair. Why can’t I naturally be stick thin too?”

——-

“I wish religion wasn’t such a defining characteristic when it came to relationships. I want to be with you.”

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“My boyfriend is emotionally and physically abusive. I can’t tell anyone because all the adults I know wouldn’t believe me, and all my friends would yell at me for staying with him.
None of them understand. No matter how much I hate him, I like that he hates me just as much as I hate myself.”

——-

“We’re never going to be together. But it’s okay. You’re not my type anyway. You’re too serious for me, too straight-edged, too old…I want someone who’s young and fun and I can goof around with. We’re not right for each other. But it kinda hurts that SHE’S the one you want, just because she’s everything that I’m not. And when I see you guys being silly together, it hurts a little, because that’s what I wanted with you. But I’ve made my peace with it now. I have the entire summer to get over you. Things will be different next semester, and when I see you again, I will be able to say that you are just my friend now: no more, no less.”

——-

“When I got your IM yesterday, I tried to play it cool, like it was pleasant to hear from you after all this time, but no big deal. You couldn’t see that I was shaking like a leaf. I cannot be anything to you, not even your friend. I’m married, and way too old for you anyway. In another life… I imagine what might have been between us. But we’ll never know. I just am not free to be with you, in any way.

But there are things from our brief whatever-it-was that I will carry with me always. The way you ran your fingers through your hair. The tiny space between your front teeth that I could feel when we kissed. The night we stood on the porch of the Plant Sciences building and watched the thunderstorm. And yesterday, when I apologized to you for throwing myself at you last summer… and you said you were sorry for not catching me.

I’m sorry, too. You have no idea.”

——-

“My best friend watched my ex hurt me physically, she was fucked up she doesn’t remember, but she watched. Now I just found out she’s still talking to him. How can you say you’re my best friend and talk to the man who abused me in every fucking way? You know what he did, so why?”

——-

“We met almost two years ago. Ever since then we’ve been testing the waters but never fully diving in. I can’t help but think you keep coming back into my life for a reason. We’re both on the same page right now – simply confused – and that might be the first step to a beautiful friendship, relationship, call it what you will.”

——-

“I fell for you the day we met almost a year ago. I’m still not over you, and I’m beginning to wonder if I ever truly will be.”

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“I will NEVER forgive you for breaking my heart and making it so hard to be happy.”

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“I’m a girl. You’re a girl. I’m trying not to take any day I get to spend with you for granted. I know this won’t last forever.”

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“I am a completely straight girl who is falling for her best friend… also a girl. I feel so lucky that everything has progressed so naturally and I’m so happy but at the same time I don’t know if I should break it off because I can’t actually be with her…”

——-

“I found out tonight that my girlfriend knows our relationship sucks, and doesn’t care because she has the the title. Im wasting my life with this chick. -_- AND SHE FREAKING KNOWS AND DOESN’T WANNA FIX IT that’s the worst part. It hurts a lot.”

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One comment

  1. Its like you read my mind! You seem to know a lot about this, like you wrote the book in it or something.
    I think that you could do with some pics to drive the message home a bit, but instead of that, this is wonderful blog.
    An excellent read. I’ll definitely be back.

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