April Secrets!

“I think there is significant chemistry between my boyfriend’s best friend and I. I know that this might seem horrible to say, but I’m pretty sure he would treat me a lot better, and love me more. I love my boyfriend, just sometimes I wish he’d be as nice as him.”

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“I really like you, and you are my co-worker. I want you to like me back, and I think you might. Please make it easier for me to tell if you do, because I would be so happy to be able to date you.”

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“I hate that I can’t trust myself or my intentions. My feelings have turned to coal and my past is slowly yet dreadfully creeping up behind me. I always seem to find another temporary distraction to ease my pain, needs, and regret. I’ve gotten used to this deceitful lifestyle; when will it stop. Who will turn my life around. When will I stop using lust as a way to escape this so called thing “love” and be human again. When will I find the courage to change. The strength to fight temptation. I wish I could stop crushing hearts and drinking the juice. When will I start accepting the feelings and needs of others and putting them to use. When will I stop making myself a victim of abuse.”

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“Everything will be okay in the end. If it’s not okay, it’s not the end.”

So true. Thank you!

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“We only dated for, like, 3 months, and we broke up 6 months ago. But we’ve hooked up almost a dozen times since then. I still can’t let you go. Every time I try to go out with someone else, I cry. I hate that it isn’t you who wants to be holding my hand and taking me out anymore. I hate the smile only you knew how to put on my face. I miss everything about you. Now you’re about to graduate and all I want is to have you back in my life for good. We’ve both apologized to each other countless times about messing everything between us up, and we always talk about how we miss spending time together. Why can’t we just move on? Better yet, why can’t we just be together again?”

——-

“I like you a lot and from now on until the last day of school, I will talk to you every chance I get.”

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“You apparently broke up with him to be me but now all you’re doing is pushing me to the side treating me like I’m nothing to you. All I want is you, all I’ve ever wanted is you but you don’t seem to realize that. Do you?”

——-

“Family commenting on me “She looks as pretty as her sister, but her sisters skinnier.”

I have been struggling with this statement longer than anyone will ever know. I’ve been hearing it since I can remember, and I grew up with the nickname potbelly kid, and always teased the way I can pack away food. I’m not fat, I’m only 90 lbs actually, I’ve been 15 lbs lighter than my sister for the past 8 years, and anorexic. However, my family has never realized it, it’s always ‘look at how skinny your sister is,’  how much do I have to weigh to be acknowledged as beautiful. How much do I have to lose before you to notice me? I think I’ll disappear before you ever realize it.”

——-

“I almost lost my dad yesterday.  I have never felt so afraid in my life and everything I have been worried about for the past month (housing, my summer job, my papers) just doesn’t seem to matter anymore. All I need is to make sure he is okay and knows he is appreciated and loved.”

——-

“I don’t want to go out and party, or drink, or make out with random guys like all the other girls. I just want you.”

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“I would rather be disfigured or disabled in an accident than lose my sense of humor. It’s my favorite part about myself and I wouldn’t trade it for anything.”

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“There’s no way this is all just in my head. You always pick me over the other girls. I look over and you’re looking at me. You never miss an opportunity to help me out. We both know this isn’t just a platonic friendship. I know we don’t know each other that well, but I really want to get to know you. We’d be perfect together. And I don’t think I’ll be able to show interest in anyone else, not when I still believe that I might have a chance with you. I know you think the age difference is too much. I know it’s hard, but time’s running out, love. This sort of thing doesn’t happen to me every day, and I don’t think it happens to you, either. How are you ever going to know if you don’t make a move?”

——-

“I lost my virginity today. I think I could be in love with him but I know he doesn’t feel the same way. Sex doesn’t mean anything to him and it makes my heart hurt.”

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“To the person who thinks they will and should always be alone and never become intimate with anyone:

I know how you feel. I can’t believe someone has expressed the same feelings as me. I am also gay and feel like because of it, I should just never be with anyone. But then I realize that that is kind of silly. You shouldn’t let something like that stop you from having a relationship with someone who makes you happy. Be happy with who you are and cut yourself some slack.”

——–

“I’m not his girlfriend. I’m not even interested in him beyond friendship. We aren’t physical at all. But talking to him daily fills the void, and it helps my self esteem to feel wanted. I’m replacing someone else with him, and he doesn’t benefit at all. But I can’t let him go, I don’t want to be alone for good.”

——-

“Please just ask me out!

I know it’s hard for you, but believe me, it’s even harder for me. The whole world can see that we both want this, but I need to hear it from you.”

——-

“I really want to know what percentage of students on campus are virgins?
Do most students actually masturbate? Is it normal?
Between girls too?”

——-

“I seriously feel they are so many students on this enormous campus who feel they are lonely and surely deserve better.
But I still can’t figure out how to bring this to an end. There has to be some way, so that all these people at least get in touch with each other.
Some one has to step up! But how?
People can do wonders, once they know they can.

P.S. I am one of them!”

——-

“I haven’t posted in awhile. I once told you, the TerpSecret creator, that I admired your work. It was in cornerstone awhile ago.I honestly think you’re very attractive and I feel you are helping SOOO many people through their struggles. I’d really love to party with you or even hang out and get to know you, you’ve got a great amount of spirit I haven’t seen in a very long time.. btw the class we were in was HLTH 285 where I sat behind you if you remember :)”

Thank you! That class was a huge lecture–I really don’t remember anyone consistently sitting behind me.

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“I miss and ache for something that I never had with you.  I hate her but also feel so ashamed for such hateful behavior.  I feel like I am a joke and no one takes me seriously.  I feel overweight and constantly greasy.  I am often ashamed of my behavior.  I want to go to counseling on campus but just keep not showing up for my appointments, and I can’t figure out why.  I am annoyed that my best friend calls me her best friend yet 9 times out of 10 would rather hang out with her boyfriend, the 10th time being that she is annoyed with him for one reason or another and I have to listen to that.  Most of all though, I miss you, and what I thought we had the potential for.  I guess we don’t, but I don’t know how I am going to accept that.  If I didn’t have fear of not immediately being able to pay back student loans, I would run away, today.”

——-

“I’ve settled to being alone because of who I am. I have decided to never be in a relationship, never to be intimate with anyone, and to get as close to being a crazy cat person without actually owning cats (dog person for life). I’ve decided this because I can’t let everyone who I love in my life to know the real me, even though most already assume they know the real me. But at least I can tell someone, and this is why I love this website. I can tell everyone who ends up reading this who I really am. So to all looking at this, I am gay! I may lack any of the courage that I always tell my friends to have, but at least I can come out here. And while I’m still alone and still living a lie to everyone, it feels good. It really does.”

——-

“You wouldn’t notice that I’m disabled by looking at me, I can walk and talk, and do most things like a normal person. Until I have an episode, where my world goes black and people look at me like I’m the girl from the exorcist. I have epilepsy, grand mal, peti mal, I have them all. It controls my life, I can’t stop it, or time it. I will have this for the rest of my life, and no one is ever going to understand why or what I’m going through.”

——-

“For people who feel like there’s no one to turn to, the verse below helps me overcome many difficult situations in my life. We are all humans and we all have our struggles so please don’t give up because it gets better.
Matt 11:28-30:
“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.””

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“When I was in middle school I had a horrible reputation. I had apparently done everything by 13, sex to drugs, a to z. I was tortured, thought down upon, and eventually driven away from my school. In reality, I was a goth girl in a redneck town. I always thought that I moved to a new school and re invented myself. However, all I did was become those rumors. I don’t know how it happened, I had always promised myself I’d never become what people thought I was, now thats all I am. I let what people said 9 years ago completely transform my life. How pathetic is that?”

——-

“I’m known for my mad beats, and my sick flow. In the clubs, I always lay it down. Super hot fire, is what I spit. But there is a terrible truth I have hidden from the world. I am not what people think I am, I am not a rapper. I am a philosopher, I am a thinker. These hands weren’t made for mixing…they were made for loving.”

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“If you see me, I’m always with a girl. But my biggest secret is that I always doubt myself. Do women actually like me for who I am … or do they like me simply because I’m sittin’ on 28 inches of solid chrome rims? I feel like they see my money, before they see my character. They read my portfolio, before they read my mind. Who am I without the money? I don’t know anymore.”

——-

“I’m paranoid I’m going to screw up my relationship with my girlfriend. I’m also not happy with her. I haven’t broken up with her because she hasn’t cheated on me and hasn’t shown signs of going insane. Is that bad? Hell yeah. Am I ‘keeping’ her because I don’t want to be alone? Absolutely =/”

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“I pick my nose in my car :)”

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“I am terrified to admit it, but I use alcohol to cover my unhappiness. I am terrified to finally admit that I am not in control of my habit, and that it is ruining my life. For years I have thought it was harmless, but now I am realizing that I am not in control of my actions. My life revolves around, and is affected by, my problem. But I don’t know what to do about it.”

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” I feel like I am chronically unhappy. It’s like I have failed at everything I have ever done. From the outside looking in, I may appear to be a happy person, but I have realized that money/possessions don’t buy real happiness. I don’t know what to do.”

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“Tonight I have cried and cried and cried and for no particular reason at all. I have no logical reason to be this upset/angry right now, but I physically can’t help myself. I feel as though I could drive my car straight into a tree and not flinch. They keep upping the dosage of my medication, and nothing is working. Maybe I just don’t need to be here anymore.

I just want this to end. I want to feel something again.”

——-

“I’m so obsessed with everyone around me thinking that my boyfriend and I are the perfect couple, so when we fight and I’m upset I don’t have anyone to talk to about it.”

——-

“We are best friends. You’ve told me that you love me and I’ve told you that I love you. We’re afraid of ruining our friendship but we don’t have forever. You’re leaving after this year. I’m going to miss you more than you can imagine.”

——-

“I hate that I have no self-control and no will-power when it comes to food. I used to have such control and now that I don’t, it scares me. It’s not just some shallow, girly ‘omg i’m so fat’ problem. I’m dealing with some messed-up shit in my life right now that I have no control over, and the stress from it causes me to lose control over what I eat, one of the very few things i had control over. My body is falling apart and it has sent me into a very deep depression. I don’t want therapy or drugs or anything i need to be dependent on. I feel like if i do this myself, I’ll be better off for it but i can’t seem to get it together. I don’t want to be this person anymore. I want to have control.”

——-

“I never realized how much my suicide attempts affected people until you succeeded in yours. I understand though. I was your age the first time I tried, did it the same way and everything, only difference is my rope broke, yours didn’t. I wish you could have gotten a second chance like I had, could have seen that it does get better, or bearable as the years go on. I’m sorry I lived and you didn’t, it really doesn’t seem fair. I will hold you in my heart and mind everyday from now on. I will never forget you, I will stay alive for the both of us.”

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“I like to tell myself that I’m a loner, but I’m not lonely. That I’m an introvert. That I actually prefer spending my weekends playing video games instead of hanging out with people. Then I look up and see people having a blast with their friends. I step into the movie theater…and realize i’m the only one watching the movie unaccompanied.
I’m a junior at the university and I still don’t have more than mere acquaintances I made from doing projects together in previous classes. I still don’t have any real friends here. No one to hang out with. No one to invite over. Never had a girlfriend…still waiting on a first kiss. And every time I try to tell myself I can make a friend I can’t even muster up the strength to approach someone.
I desperately believe I won’t be alone forever, but for the foreseeable future I’ll be home, by myself, alternating between doing schoolwork and turning on my playstation…”

——-

“You raped me again and it’s all my fault. But that’s just the icing on the top of the cake. The guy I really care about and thought felt the same has a new girl. I’m stuck going to mc because I don’t have the grades let alone the money to go anywhere else. I wanted to get away from my dad and now I’m stuck here. I’m mentally and physically sick and haven’t received any help. The worst part? My mom found all my old prescriptions that I no longer take but saved so that when I needed to die it would be easy. But that’s ok I know where my dad keeps his gun.”

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“I’ve posted here before about my loneliness and…nothing’s changed. Even though I’m proud of myself for going to the gym 5 days per week this semester (up from 0 during the rest of my life), I feel physically better than ever and I can finally run well I think. The thing is, there’s always that envy when you see other guys working out together and competing and pushing each other farther.
I wish I had that. Hell, I wish I didn’t study alone, eat meals alone, spend my weekends alone, etc. aside from working out alone. I wish I had any kind of real friend still. I can’t believe my freshman year has been completely devoid of any real, best friend. I’ve never had one and that’s what I was looking forward to most in college. I work 20+ hours per week at my job, my average is still a decent 3.0 and I added the gym this year and yet…I can’t feel happy or proud in my own skin when no one else is happy to be anywhere with me.

And if I may, I’d just like to take up a teeny space on this page to speak as a fellow submitter to the rest of you — you’re all very strong, courageous but hurting people. Being among you (virtually) warrants enormous respect for every single thing you share. Thank you TerpSecreters and Sarah.”

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“Out of the two of us, I’m the prettier sister, and my younger sister is the smarter one.  Not that I’m not smart – I get A’s for the most part, but I’m what most people refer to as ‘flighty’.

It’s annoying that everyone in the family wants her to go to school and get a good job, but everyone focuses more on how I should be a model or a housewife.  I mean, I want to be a wife, but I’m tired of everyone acting like that’s the only thing I can do.  I know I could be a doctor if I wanted to, but I chose not to go in that path, unlike my sister.

And it sucks for her, too.  I think she’s pretty, but I’m always the one getting the comments even when she looks just as nice.  She’s stopped wearing makeup and bothering with her hair, and I can’t help but wonder if it’s because no one remarks on how she looks.  And here I am, worried about whether or not my eyeliner is perfect because it’s the only thing anyone seems to care about.

I just wish they’d focus on the fact that I can get A’s in calculus and english and just about anything else too.  I mean, I feel like I’m working hard for nothing.  Everyone just wants to know why I haven’t considered modeling, or being a nice secretary.  I wish I could be considered smart just as much as I wish people would start commenting on how beautiful my sister is.”

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“I’m a senior and I like a freshman. I’m 18 and he is 15. I really wanna be with him and that makes me a horrible person.”

——-

“I still think about you all the time and how upset and hurt and angry and used you made me feel…so why do I still want you?”

——-

“After over a year of being together, I can finally say that I love you. The problem is, I can say that to everyone except you because I’m pretty sure you don’t feel the same way yet. You are my first love, and I can’t even share it with you. I guess it isn’t the same for you because you had a long- term relationship already and expressed love to someone who, looking back, you feel like you didn’t really love. I know that it takes time when you’ve had your heart broken and you want to make sure your feelings are real, but how long am I supposed to wait?”

——-

“Here’s something I read the other day:
‘Life isn’t about finding yourself. Life is about CREATING yourself’
I thought of something this morning. If the darkest part of the day is right before sunrise, then doesn’t it make sense that the darkest part of our lives come just before beautiful, bright, happy times?”

——-

“We broke up because your parents didn’t think that I was good enough for you. They hate me because we had sex but I was drunk the first time that we had sex and you were sober. It is your fault. I hate you. I wanted to wait until we got married. Now, your parents don’t even want us to communicate.”

——-

“It really hurts. I have known for a long time but my suspicions have finally been validated: nobody in my life appreciates me. I am graduating top of my class with two majors and a minor but instead of congratulating me, my parents want to know why I haven’t helped my sister succeed in the same way. You just can’t help some people…but of course they don’t understand that.

It has been this way since we were children! Even though she is older and should be giving ME advice, I have always been more mature and therefore held responsible if something went wrong. I tell her to grow up all the time and my parents think I am a bitch.

This isn’t even the worst of it! Because I have spent most of my life trying to make them proud, I have neglected the little friends I did have in order to participate in extra activities or study.

I need someone who can look at me and tell me what a good job I am doing with my life…I feel hollow inside.”

——-

“She told me that she couldn’t respect me when she found out I did drugs. It isn’t as though I ever hid it from her, I just didn’t think it was a big deal so I never said anything because it never came up.

It wouldn’t have been so bad if she told me she didn’t respect me when I told her about my drug use, but she waited 8 months. Until she was dating some random douche as a substitute. Until she’d ignored me reaching out to her for weeks on end. Until she made me feel worthless.

By the time she told me she couldn’t respect me, I didn’t even have enough respect left for myself to care.

I’m not a bad person. I’ve spent more time doing charity work in my 21 years than most people have spent even thinking about other people. But I have demons like most other people. The only difference is, I can’t deal with them. Without drugs, I attempted to kill myself 7 times before I went to college.

I want to earn her respect back, but I’m scared of what I’ll turn into if I step away from drugs.”

——-

“You were my best friend. You told me you liked me but I didn’t want to ruin such a good friendship, until I realized I liked you too. But here I am, 10 months after I told you, and I still regret telling you the truth and ruining our friendship…”

——-

“The older I get, the harder it is for me to retain the believe that there is someone out there for me. Everyone says that I won’t find love until I learn to love myself and enjoy life by myself, but I really just don’t see the point in life if I don’t have someone to share it with.  Now that I expect failure, I think it has become a self-fulfilling prophecy.  Just gotta keep putting one foot in front of the other…”

——-

“I don’t get along with my girlfriend or friends nearly as well as I used to, but even though I know they might not like me as much as before, no one dislikes me as much as I dislike myself.”

——-

“Fat people scare me and I feel terrible about it.”

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“Everyone tells me I’m super skinny whenever I say ‘Oh I’m so fat.’ I know I’m skinny, but I feel pressured by society to be even skinnier and to degrade myself because everyone does it.”

——-

“I’ve been hurt so bad by this girl! Im a lonely, shy, nice man who needs the touch of a good women! TOTALLY CRUSHED!”

——-

“I figured out why you won’t help me out. You help my sister, you help my brother, but I’m not your kid, Dad. Not by blood or by law. They are.  I thought I was still your kid in your eyes though, because you were always my dad. I need you to still be my dad.”

——-

“I’m over you.”

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“I am twenty years old and I pick my nose. The feeling is too satisfying to try and stop.”

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“I almost T-boned another car tonight. Luckily the other driver was able to swerve out of the way into the empty oncoming lane. No one was hurt, nothing got totaled, and we sped away into the night without even really seeing each others’ faces. But I feel like the slimiest, lowest life form on earth, because though he was going a little fast and it was hard to sight around that corner, it was almost entirely my fault. I could have horribly hurt someone tonight, I could have hurt myself, or at the very least cost us both a great deal of money. I just wanted to say sorry, to him and almost his family for my carelessness, to my parents for what might have been the most terrible phone call to make, and to the universe for being goddamn stupid.”

——-

“Dear ‘All I really want is to be able to trust someone enough and know that they won’t judge me,’

I know. I’m here for you <3.”

——-

“You were my high school sweetheart. We were in love, the kind that was the right mix of cheesy and realistic. We fought. We made up. But most of all, we kept the end goal in sight. We weren’t just in it for the fun. It was real love. We would have been able to be together for the rest of our lives (I know it, you know it, our parents knew it too), if it weren’t for just one thing. Something uncompromisable, something important that we really disagreed about.

So we broke up.

We stayed in touch with phone calls and texts and emails and letters. Yes, letters. The kind you send through snail mail. I couldn’t imagine life without you somehow in it.

See, the thing is, you were the milestone. The bar that raised my standards. You weren’t perfect by any means, but you were perfect for me. You were kind, romantic, thoughtful, funny, sincere among other things. I remember telling you after you did something randomly romantic, “I didn’t think guys like you existed. Are you from a fairy tale?” But this little description doesn’t do our years of love any sort of justice.

Now that we’re in college and we’re apart, I’m afraid that you might change into someone I would be ashamed to know. It’s already starting to happen. You hooked up with a random girl. You joined a fraternity and slowly changed your mannerisms, your ideals.

I never said anything because I’m not that girl in your life anymore so I don’t feel like it’s appropriate or relevant. I’m afraid I don’t know who you are anymore, even though we talk every day.

What I’m most afraid of is if this person you are now is really who you were all this time. I’m afraid you were pretending to be someone you thought I would want, instead of just being yourself.

I’m afraid that I fell in love with an illusion.”

——-

“Hey I just found this site and its really interesting to read all the stuff on here. I just wanted to share something that I’ve learned recently: What people think of you doesn’t matter as much as what you think of yourself. It hurts most to be disliked by the people you love the most. But if you want others to love or respect you you have to first love and respect yourself. We were all put here for a reason, and even though we don’t know what it is, the world will miss something if we don’t at least try to find out what that reason is.”

SO true. Thank you ❤

——-

“All I really want is to be able to trust someone enough and know that they won’t judge me. And as soon as I find someone that I think can do just that, they don’t seem to realize that I really wanna be able to share it with them. So now I guess I’m back where I started. Hoping that they’ll get the message and actually realize that I wanna share this with them.”

——-

“I’ve never actually believed that I can change the world.”

——-

“I am bulimic. I am so ashamed of it. It makes me feel worthless and alone. It makes me isolate and avoid forming relationships with people. I know so much about other people, but no one knows anything about me. I spend so much time alone, and sometimes people ask me why. I say something witty or brush it off. People have caught me binging. They dont know that that’s what it is. I’ll go to 251 by myself and eat until my stomach feels like it will burst. I’ve had people invite me to sit with them. I always refuse. It’s embarrassing how much I eat, even though I throw it all up. I have even gone through trash cans. I’ve stolen food. This isnt me, and I dont want it to be me, but Im scared to let it go. No one at school knows. Or maybe they do. I always wonder. But if they know, why dont they say anything? Do people care? Does anyone notice how much I hate and hurt myself? I doubt it.”

——-

“It’s 3:30, and I’m wasted. Nobody notices, because I have being drunk down to an art. I don’t know why they thought I’d be cured after rehab. I’m an alcoholic, I’m the best liar in the world, why are you guys all so stupid to think I’m not anymore.”

——-

“I love you so, but I hate your mother for what she did to you. I know you don’t sleep because you’re afraid of what will come out of the dark, and I’ve seen your nightmares, and how you are terrified when you wake up. I try to act strong, like I can protect you from anything, and I don’t think you know how much it tears me up to see you like that.”

——-

“After almost five years of keeping my eating disorder a secret, I’m finally going to do something about it. My first group meeting is this week!”

Congratulations! I’m so proud of you.

——-

“I want nothing more then for someone to ask me to my senior prom. I said that last year people asked me and I said no because I rather just go with my friends…but the truth is no one asked me. I pretend to be strong and pretend that I don’t want or need a man to feel loved. I don’t know whats wrong with me. It kills me to know that even when I dress “sexy” or “slutty” guys don’t even want to use me. I’m not even good enough to be used.”

——-

“I don’t like who I am for the reason of what I do. I hate the fact that I cant just be with one person. I want to change for the better and be with that one special person but I cant and it makes me hurt. No one to help me but myself and myself cant help me. Why cant I change?”

——-

“I think I’m in love with you. You are so perfect for me, we have the exact same music on our ipods, we like and dislike the same things, we love music and art, we like piercings and tattoos. We’re such close friends, i can tell you everything, you told me about your bipolar when others didn’t know and i told you about my adhd…We do stuff together like hang out, just the two of us and it’s so nice, i always feel so happy with you but my stomach feels so funny like a thousand butterflies performing a complex routine inside me. A week ago we went to a party together, we spent the night looking at each other and talking and being really close. Everyone kept asking if we were together because we suited so well, later on we kissed. It was the most intense kiss i’ve ever had, the butterflies in my stomach practically exploded and i felt so light in that moment. We just kissed for ages. A lot later we decided to call it a night and head home, I was already meant to be staying at his, his mum picked us up at midnight and we sat in the back together. for the whole 40 minute drive we exchanged cute looks and smiles and held hands, i put my legs up on the seat and you stroked my legs up to my thighs, of course tingling sensations coursed through me. We got home and went straight to bed, as did his mum. We changed into our pyjamas together which was odd because we both prefer to sleep naked. we snuggled into his big black bed and watched tv together, we laughed at all the same bits. He kept catching my eye, i had my head on his chest and his chin rested on my head. I was really concious not to move or disturb him because i liked the feeling of closeness…we turned the tv off and were about to go to sleep, when he leaned over and kissed my neck. I felt flushed, i tilted so he had more room, then he leaned over me and kissed me softly on the lips. We just smiled at eachother and began to strip. He slid into me and we had sex for about half an hour. It was the best sex i’ve had, the only time i’ve had it with someone i’ve truly liked. I’m 15, you may think i’m a slut but i will be 16 in 3 months and this was my 4th time. I really think I love this guy. But now we aren’t as close, we’re still close but it’s not the same. I thought maybe he’d ask me out afterwards but he hasn’t. I’m staying round his tomorrow night, I don’t want him to think I will have sex with him and no strings attached…I want to BE WITH him. so badly…I love him.”

——-

“I don’t wanna make out with you in the car or my apartment, I definitely don’t wanna kiss you in my bed. I want to kiss you somewhere romantic, somewhere that you’ll always remember. Because I wanna be the one you think about while with that other guy if we are no more. I wanna be that milestone, to set the bar for future men in your life if we don’t last, but more importantly, I wanna be your everything the rest of my life and yours. That is my want, and my prayer, to be yours forever.”

——-

“When I was a kid and I would get sick, my mom would always say to me, ‘I wish it was me instead of you.’ At the time I didn’t understand. Why would you want to take my sickness for yourself? Now, I think I’ve fallen in love with my best friend, and when he got sick I felt the same way for him as my mom did for me as a child. I wish I could take it away, because I know I’ll be fine as long as I know he’s happy.”

——-

“Your irresponsibility and lack of motivation are truly unattractive. I’d like to think that we are perfect together, but unfortunately I am starting to see that you lack some of the qualities I value most.”

——-

“My biggest secret? I have been telling a lie for almost 3 years now. And now I am just in way too deep to get out of it now because I will loose everything if I ever come clean.”

——-

“I wish he would ask me out on a date. I would say yes in a heartbeat, but I don’t think he realizes that. I also wish I could just ask him myself, but I’m too scared. So I guess I’ll keep on waiting…”

——-

“I hate when I tell my friends I’m a lesbian and they don’t believe me. I get that I fit none of the lesbian stereotypes but that doesn’t mean anything. I’m mostly mad because when I tell them I’ve loved a girl before, I feel like they don’t fully believe me.  Not believing that I like girls means they have absolutely no respect for my feelings. If this is what telling my friends is like, what is it going to be like when if I tell my family…”

——-

“I am obsessed with long-boarding.”

——-

“At 14 I was raped for the first of three times. I was abused and become pregnant although I lost the baby by this guy. It changed me so much. Guys can no longer touch me. Im not 18 and still haven’t told my parents. Not because they wont care but because they will be angry and disappointed that I had sex before marriage. Like I had a choice.”

——-

“I broke someone’s heart. Instead of leaning on her during tough times, I threw away years for nothing. I miss her terribly, I think about her everyday. How would I ever be able to face her, her friends and family again? I am lonely and confused… all I know is that I ruined something special. It is the single greatest regret of my life to this day. I wish I could do it all over again.”

——-

“I am so happy that you got into the school of your dreams, believe me, I’m you’re number one supporter, but I’m scared shitless that I’ll no longer fit into your life… I feel like the distance is going to ruin it, and we’ll lose this and that’s devastating to think about because I’m so fucking in love with you. I literally dream about telling you I love you. I love everything about you. I think you’re the coolest person I’ve ever met, you make me feel beautiful, and loved, and give me confidence and strength, but I don’t know if we’re strong enough for this…”

——-

“I have been seeing this girl for five months. We talk on the phone every night. We’ve slept together numerous times. She accepts for all my numerous flaws. She has a boyfriend, and I think I’m really falling for her.”

——-

“I decided to transfer to UMD because it’s about 20 times the size of my last school. I was hoping that with so many people around, I would be able to meet people who I truly like and care about, but a lot of the time I’m more alone here than I was before. I’ve seen so many posts on this site from people who are lonely and it just feels like such a waste.”

——-

“I think it’s time for me to bow out.”

——-

“I miss doing drugs with you more than I actually miss being with you.”

——-

“I’m slowly losing my friends. I don’t have time to be there for them even though they are always there for me. I don’t deserve them. I’m pushing them away and I hate it. Some days I just want to quit all my extracurriculars so I can be normal and have friends but I can’t ever bring myself to because I don’t want to be a quitter.”

——-

“I grew up adhering to your religious views, even though I never shared them. Although it filled me with self loathing and pain, I sat through every bible study and church service. When I turned eighteen, it took all the courage in the world to come out as a pagan to you…and now, I can truly say that I am happy. For the first time in my life, I feel alive.

Three years later, I am still your little girl. I live every single day with kindness in my heart, and I have never let you down. Please, wipe that disgusted look off your face and treat me like your daughter once again.”

——-

“Watching your family fall apart and finally seeing your empty house the last time before it’s sold is one of the most devastating feelings in the world. I have kept strong throughout the whole thing because I don’t want my parents to know how much it really bothers me.”

——-

“Seriously guys, life gets so much better when you quit trying to be what other people want you to be. This is particularly directed at the girl who stays in and reads on weekend nights. I’m with ya sister! Why? Because I’d rather read on a Friday night than force myself into a typical college social life that I don’t actually enjoy.”

——-

“My boyfriend is almost 8 years older than me and has a little boy. I love him more than anything, but I hate knowing that part of him will always be with his ex, even though she’s already married and has another kid. I hate that she’ll always be in his life. I love his son, but it worries me that he’ll never love me like that much. I’m scared that if we get married or have kids of our own that he won’t love them the same. It bothers me so much sometimes I think about leaving him, but it upsets me to think that I’d never see him or his son again. I hate myself for being so back and forth about this and being so selfish. I just wish I could figure it out and be happy. I have to decide if I want to be an adult with a family or be 21 and enjoy my life some more before I settle down, and I don’t want to decide at all.”

——-

“I never realized what a pathetic waste of a drug addict I was until I watched my mother while I was sober. I hope I wasn’t like her. I hope I never become her.”

——-

“He just said no, AGAIN! I’m such an idiot! We’re still friends, but every time I invite him bowling, he apparently has a birthday party to go to! It might just be bowling thats the problem. But now I can’t go to the school dances because of my grades, and I never even see my friends, I only get to hang out with one ACTUAL QUALITY friend, and I just absolutely hate everyone else I could hang out with! I’m going off topic… But everyone wants me to forget about him and move on, IM FREAKING TRYING! But he’s just like the perfect one! I just want to hug him and never let go, but I can’t! If he said yes, I wouldn’t be writting this, if he said yes, that one freaking word, I wouldn’t be in so much pain! I wouldnt even be so crazy!… Why can’t you just pick the right answer, it’s a 50/50 chance! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!…”

——-

“I’d rather starve than eat in the Commons by myself.”

——-

“My roommate thinks it is acceptable to bring guys back to our dorm late at night. She locks me out through every door and does not respect what makes me comfortable. When I ask who the guy is or anything about him, she becomes instantly sketchy and tells me not to worry about it. If a guy is going to sleep 5 feet away from me I feel as if I deserve the right to know who he is. Two nights ago I walked in our room at about 3 am. A guy was in our room and I asked him to leave. She had the nerve to tell me to leave and I snapped (which is something I have never done). I told her that this was not just her room and I deserve the right to be sent a text or any type of warning that there was someone in our room. What makes this whole situation worse is the fact she is my teammate, and not just a roommate. I have to see her and respect her no matter what she does to me. Because of her, I have not been myself while on campus and find myself more stressed. Keeping this to myself for so long has been killing me inside. I don’t want to tell anyone about my situation because I don’t want her reputation to go down.”

——-

“The stars spell out your name
Like a science fiction number
And the romance growing
Like a flower in the summer
You always keep me guessing
And to know that I will always be
A bummer”

——-

“I hate my body and I hate myself.”

——-

“I’m in my sophomore year of college and I am doing great in school… and I act like I’m alright but nobody really knows how bad I really feel about myself.
Whenever I meet someone new I push them away. It’s not that I don’t want friends, I just don’t know how to talk to them. I don’t want them to find out how pathetic my life is, that instead of going out on a Friday or Saturday night I sit around at home doing work or reading. That I get extreme anxiety whenever I am around them. That I avoid the cafeteria because I’m always eating there alone. I don’t want them to know me because I don’t like myself. Because in the past, people pretend to like me but then move on to the next person who is more interesting.

I pretend that this doesn’t bother me, but it really does. And the loneliness is unbearable.”

——-

“I like a guy that recently broke up with his long term girlfriend. I think he only sees me as a friend though. He has “friend-zoned” me….this has never unwillingly happened to me before and I’m not sure what to do. I wanna just jump his bones but I know he’s not like that. Oh boy, what am I getting myself into? Another hopeless situation I suppose. I’m a sucker for the things I can’t have.”

——-

“I pretend I’m single when I’m on campus.”

——-

“I can see you every day.”

——-

“I realized that I had an eating disorder for the last 2 and a half years of high school. I still think I’m too small at only weighing 122lbs.”

——-

“I hate people telling me I’m stupid and can’t do it. I feel like a waste and a shame. I feel like there is no use in trying anymore. I’m tired of people saying that you should just do this it’s easy and an obtainable for you, lik I’m so much more stupid than everyone else. When I finally can let these thoughts go I have so much anxiety I can’t deal with it inside. I have to do other things to reveal the anxiety I sometimes pull my hair out but I don’t know why. I don’t like it but I can’t deal with the anxiety and my mother just makes fun of me for it and tells me how stupid I am. I just need some way to cope.”

——

“I wish my brother hadn’t married such a bitch. I hate her, and I’m jealous he focuses all of his attention on her. I liked it better when I was the only girl he kept tabs on. Not that I’m in love with my brother. I just hate that the attention is going to such a terrible woman.”

——-

“AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH why am I falling in love with you?!! WHY DO YOU HAVE A GF AND CHEAT ON HER WITH ME!!! I know it’s wrong … and I know I should stop myself because it takes 2! but damn … When I look into ur eyes and see your smile I don’t care about anything … about ur situation … we are by far the worst best friends on this planet … you are my most beatiful mistake … I wish I could just pull away … but the thought of not having you in my life, it makes me feel at odds with myself, I love you so much. You are everything that I want, and I know you love me as well … I can tell … but then I don’t know it just … I don’t know. I don’t understand why you are with her. Yeah you guys went out for years, I get it … but still. I feel awful that we are doing this to her, because she is super nice, and doesn’t deserve it … what we want is at odds with what is right … right?! UGH IF YOU BROKE UP WITH HER THAT WOULD BE THE PERFECT SOLUTION TO IT ALL. I REALLY WANT TO ASK YOU TO BREAK UP WITH HER BUT I DON’T HAVE THE BALLS TO DO IT. I deserve to be someone’s 1st choice … Ahhhh why is this so complicated?!”

——-

“So it’s probably been about three years now, and I still frequently think about you. It’s not that I’m alone, as you know I’ve been in a new relationship for quite sometime (and admittedly for a longer period than we consecutively stayed together), but I can’t seem to get you out of my mind. I’m not sulking alone, except for those few occasions where I still cry at night because I listening to a reminding album, or when someone mentions you and I pretend to cut it short. I’d say I’ve been happier than most points in my life, but the idea of our being together is still lingering. I’ve thought about trying to get a hold of you, but I think I’d be much too emotional, if not immediately then shortly there after. So, I’ve been slowly working at the “getting over” process. It’s weird because deep down I know everything isn’t as perfect as I’d like to remember it, we continually fought and the trust simply wasn’t there when it needed to be. Perhaps this isn’t for you then, but for me.”

——-

“My roommate’s singing is annoying.”

——-

“I’m in my sophomore year and I am doing better than ever. My grades are as high as they can be, I have a huge group of friends, and I look better than I ever have before. But at the same time I feel like I am dead inside. My anxiety rips me apart inside, but I hide it from everyone so nobody worries about me.”

——-

” I lost my virginity to a guy I barely know at the age of 22 last April at a party celebrating my/my school’s graduation. I was black-out drunk and don’t remember anything. I had been committed to saving myself for marriage for religious reasons, and now I feel like I will never be worthy of a good man’s love. I’m broken and damaged goods, and I have been doubting my religion ever since it happened.”

——-

“I hate trying not to fall back in love with you.

I hate how when I look at you, I can’t seem to remember any of your flaws, or anything you’ve done to me. I hate how when I can remember your flaws, they don’t seem that important.

I hate how you are probably not the best looking guy in the world, but I love looking at you more than anything or anyone else.

I hate how you are so sincere in everything and so earnest that I have to believe you, even when deep down I know you’re lying.

I hate how your massive amounts of charisma attract every girl you’ve ever met, how you can have your pick of anyone.

I hate how all your relationships seem platonic, but I know I can’t trust that, because that’s how ours started.

I hate how you broke up with me and then messed with my mind.

I hate how I can’t get over the idea that maybe some day, if I take the advice Hermione gave to Ginny about moving on, having a normal life and getting over obsession, you’ll come back to me, realizing that I was the one all along.

I hate that you don’t love me.”

——-

“Never in my life could I just go up to and start a conversation with a person I want to meet. After being around the same people for all of middle and high school, I’ve forgotten how to make new friends. I wish someone would just start talking to me because I’m getting lonely here by myself.”

——-

“I hate being alone. I hate seeing my friends being disgustingly cute with their boyfriends or being asked out by every other guy who talks with them. But what I hate most of all is knowing that there has to be some guy out there who I could love but being stuck at a school too full of drunken, immature idiots to find him.”

——-

My boyfriend broke up with me during college senior year, I was very distraught… he was my first and only we had dated for 2 years. I ended up hooking up with a friend’s roommate in a week. I told my ex b/f and we eventually got back together. But while we were in a limbo stage I slept with another guy that my b/f knows but hates. I never told him about the 2nd guy… and I never will, he still hasnt forgiven me for the one guy and we have been living together for 5 years now. Only 2 people know about the 2nd guy and I always worry they might let it slip when they are around.

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