October Secrets!

“Take your space and take your reasons, but you’ll think of me.”

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“I’m so devastated. I trusted you to not hurt me. Guess I was wrong.”

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“I don’t want you to die. I want to help you. But I don’t want to be your therapist, I want to be your friend.”

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“When I got here, I thought we’d be together. Then you left me for her. It hurt for a while, but guess what, I’M OVER YOU! And it feels amazing.”

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“You’re the one person I’ve felt like I’ve been able to be myself around in the longest time. You understand me and are there for me when I need you to be. I hate that we don’t have time to see each other much, but absolutely nothing makes me happier than the time we do spend together, and the idea of no longer being able to have that hurts so much. I feel so helpless, and know that I must sound so desperate, but as much as I tell myself that I don’t want to sound that way, it’s impossible to control how I feel.”

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“Until I met you…”

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“Praying to God that something will go my way soon. This wasn’t supposed to happen this way. All I ever wanted was to be happy.”

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“I really thought I was going to love this place instead I am counting the days until I leave.”

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“I want to help all of you so bad. You’re not alone. I’m with you. You’re special and loved. You don’t deserve to feel so sad and lonely and scared. I’m thinking about you.”

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“Sometimes I wish I knew what everyone else thought about me. I feel like most of the time people just really don’t like me. I wish I knew what was wrong so I could change and be accepted. I feel alone and left out. I wish someone understood and actually LIKED me.”

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“This is all your fault. My anxiety is ruining my life. It’s ruining my relationships, it’s ruining my ambition, it’s ruining me. I want to just think like everyone else and take everything as it is, but no. You had to show me that it isn’t always what it is. Not everyone is like you, and I know that. But you were enough to ruin me, and I hate you more than you’ll ever know for that.”

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“Every 11:11 I wish about you; I wish you’ll text me first, I wish you’ll want to see me, I wish and hope and pray you’re thinking about me, I wish you would tell me you love me. I’m still waiting for reassurance that my wishes are coming true.”

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“No one can ever know that I’ve taken lives in the line of duty. I wish people didn’t ask. My friends will never see me the same way if I told them the truth and they don’t understand that. I can’t tell them not to ask, and I hate saying “I don’t want to answer that question,” but at least suspicion is better than confirmation. Can you still be friends with someone who has blood on their hands?”

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“If only she knew….
Where he is when you’re not there
About the plus on a test that turned our lives upside down
The connection we share that you couldn’t understand

Because he is…
My only constant throughout these 4 years
The one no one can compare to
Able to make everything seem okay; always makes me smile
My other half that I was lucky to find
The guy who always comes back to me to make sure I’m alright
Making me his exception because I get him

Does he really love her?”

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“My anxiety and depression is so bad. It gets worse when my boyfriend leaves me for the weekend to hang with his college buddies. I know he won’t cheat on me but I’m scared of the chance that he might. He’s my world and I am absolutely nothing without him. I wish he really understood that when I say “I love you forever,” I really mean it.”

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“I really want to seek counseling at Shoemaker, but I’m afraid of the potential consequences, good or bad. I try to rationalize that I don’t really need therapy as long as I talk to my friends, but it doesn’t seem to be working.”

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“I hated you since I walked in on you hooking up with the guy I’m practically in love with. I thought you were a nice girl before… even if you were a little bit slutty. Oh yeah, do you remember that you have a boyfriend! Sweetie, the only reason I can smile around you is because I know that karma is a bitch… just like you.”

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“There’s nothing I want more than a sweet, romantic boyfriend. You’re probably the one. But the closer I get to you, the more scared I get scared of the commitment. It’s not you, it’s me, and I’m sorry.”

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“I have a cheetah print fetish. I like it when my girlfriend wears nothing but a cheetah print coat, cheetah print heels, and possibly some cheetah print handcuffs… face down ass up…”

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“I wonder every single day if you care for me like I do you. I tend to get the feeling that you don’t, and it just tears me apart.”

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“I have so much to say, but I’m even afraid to say it on here in fear of everyone thinking I’m just desperate for attention. I’m not. I just want to feel loved.”

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“What I want the most is what I cannot have and should not want. So why can’t I just let it go?”

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“I have a good friend at UMD who is the best, nicest person I have ever met (he is compelled to help people all the time or else he feels bad). The problem is I am afraid to tell him that I think so because I am scared he will feel content with the job he’s done and stop helping people. That would be a HUGE problem for a lot of people. We need you Mr. Save Good!”

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“Nothing scares me more than our future. I love you. Please don’t leave me.”

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“I like guys, and have romantic feelings for one of my best friends. I’m too ashamed to tell anyone and I constantly worry how my friends would react.”

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“I’m attracted to girls, and everyone I love looks at me like I’m disgusting because of it.”

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“I lie all the time, about everything. I procrastinate and then make up excuses for why things aren’t done on time. Even if I haven’t done anything wrong, I still lie. Because I never feel good enough.”

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“I pee in the shower… and my roommates have no idea.”

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“I think I love you, but I’m not going to say it until you do. I hope you say it soon.”

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“If he asked me to marry him right now I would. I miss him and need him and I really hope and pray he feels the same way. I don’t even think he knows how much I care and even though he told me not to wait, I can’t help it. I just hope one day we’ll be together forever. Be safe out there soldier.” -Salisbury University Student

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“I think you’re using me. You probably are, but I’m just letting you do it because I don’t want to let go of the idea that maybe you’re not.”

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5 comments

  1. in regards to this post

    “No one can ever know that I’ve taken lives in the line of duty. I wish people didn’t ask. My friends will never see me the same way if I told them the truth and they don’t understand that. I can’t tell them not to ask, and I hate saying “I don’t want to answer that question,” but at least suspicion is better than confirmation. Can you still be friends with someone who has blood on their hands?”

    I would give anything to talk with you and be friends. What you went through is extremely difficult and nobody should have to cope with that alone. Just remember that someone is out here for you soldier. Thank you for everything you’ve done and given for the rest of us.

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