“I injured my foot 2 years ago which eventually caused a knee injury that hasn’t gone away. I’ve seen several doctors and tried physical therapy. Nothing seems to work. I’m falling more and more into a deep depression. Exercising helped me combat my depression and anxiety for years. It’s always been my shield. But now, I can’t to run or do anything aerobic without being pain. I just got laid off, physical ailments, and a dramatic experience with an ex. This year hasn’t produced anything positive thus far. I haven’t felt this low in a long time. My mind is going into dark places.”
“I’ve accomplished a lot in life, but I don’t think I’ll ever beat my scalp picking addiction.”
“I think most people who say they’re my friends just feel sorry for me because they think I’m weird.”
I’m sorry it has taken me so long to post these (they were submitted in January and February)! I don’t have a good excuse, I’ve just been a little overwhelmed for the past few months for a few reasons and got behind. But as always, I have no intentions of abandoning TerpSecret. As long as one person in the world has a secret to share, I’ll be here.
Also, both of these make me wish I could respond to the people who submitted them. As crazy as my life gets sometimes, I always want to help people who reach out to me. If you don’t have a secret but need advice, I’m here to help.
“My ex-girlfriend and I broke up, but we decided to have sex one last time and my condom broke. I didn’t cum and she took plan B. She began bleeding a week later which is 2 weeks before her normal period. I’ve been freaking out every day and have had extreme anxiety. I tried to be there for her, but she abruptly stopped talking to me and won’t return any of my calls.
After this experience, I have come to the conclusion that I never want to have sex again or ever involve myself in a relationship. There is way too much pain and stress associated with it.”
“Every once in a while I’ll do this thing, where I lay in bed all day pretending I’m dead just to see if anyone would notice if I killed myself overnight. I’ve come to the conclusion that my body would have to start to smell before anyone even tried knocking on my door. The longest time was 42 hours. Two days I laid in bed and didn’t make a single sound, didn’t eat or watch TV. Nobody even texted to see where I was. I stayed away from home to see how long it would take someone to notice I was gone. Two weeks until someone tried to get a hold of me. If I died, it would take my family days to realize it.”
“I couldn’t wait to be done with school since I started – for the reason that that I always felt trapped – and I couldn’t wait to start my adult life. Now that I’m actually done – and have my whole life in front of me – I feel lonely. Everyone is going their separate ways – starting their own lives and has things figured out and is growing up. And I’m still just me. I’ve never dated – (not because I’m ugly or anything – I’m pretty decent) I’m just kind of shy and I can’t flirt for sh*t. And for I while I had this heavy feeling on my chest – an empty feeling. How am I going to get rid of it – cause this lonely feeling is awful!”
“Most people think I’m just squeamish, when someone hangs themselves or is hug I can’t watch. I have to turn away, usually with a sound of horror. It’s not because it disgusts me. It’s because I did it an lived. I hung myself…”
“This site saved my sanity multiple times, I hope it’s not done.”
Don’t worry, it’s not. 🙂 -Sarah
“I’ve been a self-proclaimed bi-sexual woman for the past 10 years. I’ve only had two long term relationships, both with men and many people assume that means I like men more. I don’t. Sometimes I wonder if I like men at all. Don’t get me wrong I love my boyfriend, he’s my best-friend…but sometimes I think maybe that’s all he was supposed to be. Sometimes I think the worse thing I ever did was come out as bi, because honestly I think I’m a lesbian.”
Three years ago this month I dedicated myself to TerpSecret — and some things just never change.
This site and I have seen tremendous ups and downs, but I’ve learned more from this project than I ever could have imagined, and a piece of my heart will always belong here.
So many of you have let me into your lives without knowing who I am, and by doing that you’ve all let me see a perspective of the world I’ll never lose sight of.
I’ve seen hate, anguish, pain and hopelessness like I never thought could exist, but I’ve also the same amount of love, compassion, determination and forgiveness come in many forms — whether it was submitted as a secret, sent to me in an email, or directed at another anonymous figure with whom you felt you could relate; I have seen more emotion from strangers than I ever have from the people I know and see every day.
And to me, that makes you all part of a distant family that I love dearly.
I couldn’t have accomplished any of what I’ve accomplished here without you all. I can only hope that I’ve helped some of you through your personal struggles the same way you’ve helped me through mine.
Thank you all for the love you’ve shown me and the trust you’ve given me. I’ll continue to support you as long as there’s at least one person in this world who needs that support.