terps

May Secrets!

We all have secrets, so unleash yours.

We all have secrets, so unleash yours.

“I have an eating disorder. I thought I was over it, I used to be bulimic to the point that I’d be nauseous if I ate, and then it transformed to Anorexia when it came to much to handle. My friend had me start smoking weed, it made me hungry and not give a fuck. I’ve been smoking since I was 16, and I thought I was over my disorder. The past few days I have not smoked, I can not eat and when I try to I feel like I’m going to throw up until I finally just made myself. I realize today that I never got over it, I masked the symptoms, but I never got to the root of the issue. The real problem is I hate myself.”

——-

“I drink at work. On the job. My coffee always has Jamison. My coke always has rum. And the saddest part, is I’m so functional no one notices.”

——-

“I never feel like I’m good enough in anything I do. It’s gotten to the point where I don’t try so I have an excuse afterwards. It makes me settle and I am tired of settling, but I’m stuck with this habit of self-sabotage.”

——-

“I keep myself awake at night envisioning what it would be like to get in fights with people I don’t like.”

——-

“I resent my parents for not doing things right the first time. They love me and I love them, but they screwed up my life.”

——-

“I have an eating disorder.
Finally realizing this after the third doctor has told me to see someone.
I fight it though sometimes I find myself having gone a day or two having eaten nothing but a cup of coffee I don’t need help.
I’ve figured it out so far and I’m working on it.
I can be strong.
sometimes…”

——-

“I hate the way I act when I drink because I know everyone else hates it to, so when my friends ask me to go out I make excuses just to avoid being talked about behind my back.”

April Secrets!

Anyone ever get the feeling of:

‘Hey mom and dad I wanna do these great things!’
-me

‘Well that’s great, we support you. But you shouldnt do that, you should do this.’
-parents

Apparently I can’t live my dreams, I have to live the dreams they want me to dream. I also think it’s horse-shit.

#forevertheblacksheep”

——-

“I pretend that I love what I’m doing but I really just do it all to prove a point.”

——-

My biological dad pretty much made it apparent that he didn’t think I would amount to anything and was a complete failure because I smoked weed. (Which is only because he smokes weed and never did anything). He kicked me out a longtime ago, and he doesn’t even know this but I’m in college again. I’m an anthropology major. I plan to get my masters. I have STRAIGHT A’S. And before every test I get as high as possible. In 3 out of 4 of my classes I have the best grade. Am I a failure still, daddy?”

——-

I don’t greet people first because I don’t want to exist.”

——-

“After three months of applying and getting rejected, I finally got a job offer. Now, I don’t feel like I deserve it.”

August Secrets!

“I am a female.

I have a significant other.

We have sex often… most people think too often.

He doesn’t know that I run a sex blog on tumblr… I feel guilty, but I need somewhere for me to be me without judgment. I do not think he would judge me poorly… but I don’t want him to get upset with anonymous submissions I receive from other guys… and girls too. I don’t enjoy the random submissions, but its nice to know that people out there are comfortable with their bodies and willing to share it with the rest of the world… also that they are just as guilty as me for looking at the scandalous photos I reblog. I wouldn’t ever post photos of myself. I couldn’t do that to my boyfriend… but I still like to run the blog. It’s ok in my eyes to be a little naughty behind closed doors.”

——-

“If you consider me your own daughter, why don’t you treat me like one of your REAL kids? Even your wife has pointed out that I don’t get the same ‘preferential’ treatment. Your kids get cars paid for them, I’m told I have to pay for it myself. You can pay for my sister’s apartment, but you talk to me about how much you want to charge me for living in you basement? When do I get to be your daughter, dad? When did you decide I wasn’t?”

July Secrets!

“All I can say is I was just trying to keep the peace. And all you wanted to do was blame me for everything instead of actually confronting the right people about how you felt. And now here we are… with you telling me we can no longer be friends because I was trying to include you. So now I am here… feeling hurt and confused.”

——-

“Dear Mom,

I hate you. I know we are like “BFF’s 4-Eva” or whatever you want to call it, but I think you are the most immature and selfish middle-aged woman I have ever met. You weren’t supposed to be my friend, you were supposed to be my mother. Now that I’m in my 20s you want to try to have a say in what I do? You want to talk to me about how “you’re my mother and you worry”? You think I believe that you’re on the straight and narrow now? You’re a horrible liar, you always have been, but I’m not. That’s why I can smile and laugh when I see your face. That’s why I can tell you I love you. But I’ll lie till the day you die, make you feel like you have that daughter you always thought you had. But sorry mom, you killed that girl a long time ago.”

——-

“I’ve tried to kill myself multiple times. It kills me that my family doesn’t know. It kills me that my sorority sisters don’t know. But probably more than anything, it kills me that of the couple of people that know, only one is someone who hasn’t broken my heart.”

——-

“I know I harp on this subject every year, but 7 years ago today, I sliced my Achilles tendon on my right ankle- straight up in 2. Cast for 2 months, walking boot for 1, physical therapy for 3, and I still occasionally/rarely walk funny because of it (mini limp/gimp). It just makes me wonder what I could have done in life if it weren’t for that major setback. Truly thankful for the small things in life.”

——-

“I really like the way things are going between us, you seem to be perfect and your so sweet. However, when you finally hear my story, my history….I doubt you’ll stick around.”

April Secrets!

“Dammit! I screwed up on my chances to meet the Goo Goo Dolls at the Preakness. They’re my songwriting inspiration.”

——-

“I don’t want to be here…at my home in Baltimore. I’m suppose to celebrate my dad’s wedding. My other friend lost his father and I want to support him.  For once I can say I do trust somebody. Sometimes I feel he has more ears and a brain than my dad will ever have.

I don’t care about his wedding. He threatened me to come. He said if I didn’t he won’t through me an Eagle ceremony. I have to look at all the stuff he’s done to me; called me fat, feel asleep every time I asked him to order Senior Portraits, told me to get lost, and made me throw my own graduation party.

I wish he’d appreciate some of the things I did after my mom died. I made him dinner and got the Eagle Scout Award HE WANTED!

I hate being unappreciated.”

——-

“I’ve had a sense of impending doom for weeks now. The truth is, I’m a fraud and finals are going to expose me.”

——-

“I hate it when people say “welcome to the real world”

Fuck off. You don’t know anything about me or my life.”

——-

“It pisses me off when I’m told to “lighten up” or “relax”

especially about something that I don’t find funny, or that genuinely bothers me.

Fuck off alright?

This shit is real to me, don’t tell me to just smile and take it, and I’m not going to laugh at something that isn’t funny to me.”

——-

“So I just found out I have public lice (crabs) and its freaking me out/disgusting. I’ve been reading up on it and I can’t just shave all my hair down there, I’ll probably actually have to go to a doctor to get a prescription for treatment. I blame this on my hairy boyfriend and his lack of hygiene. Is this a breakup worthy offense? I haven’t slept with anyone but him for the past two months….”

——-

“Ever since we first talked on the first day of second semester, i had a feeling that we’d end up together, i dont know why. At first it was interesting, how you toyed with me, making me confused, and being different from all the other girls at school. And ever since, its been extremely difficult to even have a remote idea of whats on your mind, and its even worse now that we dont necessarily talk anymore…

I cant bring my self to talk to you, have lunch with you, stay after school with you, walk home with you. Whenever i try to text you, you ignore me half the time, and yet, somehow, i still like you. im too chickenshit to make a move, and i get butterflies just by seeing you. This hasnt only happened with you, i actually find it ridiculuously difficult to talk to girls i like. all this time, i’ve been sure that you like me too, even through al the confusion. but recently, over the past few days, you seem pissed off or bothered by something, even though you might not be, im afraid of approaching you when you are like this in the morning. hopefully when i overcome my difficulty with talking to girls i like ( i seriously hope its soon, we’re growing too far apart now) that you still like me. until then, I want to still be able to talk with you. If you do like me too, try to show me somehow, because I’m truly clueless…

AO”

——-

“I feel like my heart is literally broken. Like it will never be whole again. Everyone keeps saying I’ll be okay and move on, but I don’t want to. You’re the only one I want and need, but you keep ignoring me. I feel so lonely sometimes that it feels as though my world is slowly falling apart. I just keep this little tiny bit of hope inside that soon you’ll reach out to me and realize you need me too, and we can figure out what we could do…instead of this silence. It’s literally killing me.”

——-

“I still miss you sometimes, but I deserve SO much better and I love that I have finally realized it. Bottoms up to LETTING GO! :)”

——-

“You are amazing and considerate, and I know I take that for granted. I know you just want to help, but I feel like an idiot for needing someone’s help, like I’m not able to handle something on my own. I was completely in the wrong for shitting on your concern, and I’ve never felt so stupid and shitty in my entire life because you’ve never been more right.”

——-

“My entire life I’ve felt depressed but its gotten worse as I’ve gotten older. I feel uncomfortable in my skin and I feel anxious around others. There are days when I feel perfectly fine but then there are other days where I feel absolutely terrible. I feel it in the pit of my stomach and I just feel like crying. I am not hopeful about my future and I often think of dying. I don’t want to be alive anymore. I feel so angry and frustrated with everything. I pretend around people and I always smile. I just want to feel normal but I’ll never be normal. I’m useless and broken. I don’t know what’s wrong with me I just don’t know who I am anymore.”

——-

“You are amazing and considerate, and I know I take that for granted. I know you just want to help, but I feel like an idiot for needing someone’s help, like I’m not able to handle something on my own. I was completely in the wrong for shitting on your concern, and I’ve never felt so stupid and shitty in my entire life because you’ve never been more right.”

——-

“I cheated on my boyfriend and dumped him in between Christmas and New Years and went off with the other guy.

3 months later I break it off with the new guy, because I think I only liked him because I was cheating.

I sleep with my ex a couple of weeks later because I’m bored… but then he tells me to shout out the other guy’s name. It turns out he had a fantasy about me cheating on him, and me pretending he’s someone else really turned him on.

The sex was Great.”

——-

“I hate my boyfriend so freaking much, you don’t even understand.”

——-

“The world is broken, and all I want is a hug.”

——-

“After caring so much about school for my entire life, I realize it was just an escape. I finally feel happy and I could care less. Who would have thought?”

——-

“I would kill to have the diet and appetite of a normal person, to not constantly have this stupid obsession with every calorie I consume. I can’t stop it. I know it’s stupid and shallow, but my sanity revolves around it. I fucking hate it, and it won’t go away”

——-

“I need to sleep.

I haven’t been able to.

I just want a hug.

and someone to cry to.”

Stay strong, Terps.

University of Maryland community,

The news of a murder-suicide in our home away from home between our own peers really shocked us all this morning; at least, I know it shocked me. Today is the day to come together as a student body to support those affected by this tragedy. Keep the victims and their loved ones in your thoughts and prayers.

President Wallace Loh released a statement this morning, which included the following:

“During times of loss, community and support are essential components for understanding and healing.  I ask that the entire University of Maryland family come together during this time of grief.  On campus, our places of worship and the Counseling Center are open for those who need support and comfort.  Ours is a university of great resolve.  Together, we will emerge from our collective sadness.”

The Help Center opened early today at 12:30 p.m. and will remain open until 2 a.m. Tomorrow, the office will be open from 9 a.m. to 2 a.m.

UMD Help Center Contact: 301-314-4357

Don’t hesitate to seek help and support if you need it — whether it be from the university or simply from your friends and family; and as always, I’m here if you need me.

With the tenacity that this university has, I know we can get through this.

Stay strong, Terps.

Love, Sarah.

Let the games begin!

Hey everyone!

As we’re all gearing up for a new semester, don’t forget to keep spreading the word about TerpSecret! Incoming freshman to graduating seniors–there are a lot of people who still don’t know about the TerpSecret community!

Keep the secrets coming and enjoy the last few days of summer!

<3 Sarah

COLLEGE PARK CUDDLER UPDATE

ALERT THE PRESS: False alarm.

Have no fear, the College Park Cuddler is a phony. (I mean, not the real one. Just the one who sent me a secret.)

I JUST received a message from the same name and e-mail saying, “I was the one who made up the College Park cuddler secret. It was a joke. I’m a stupid college kid. Get over it.”

Phew, glad that’s over. I had no idea that was going to cause such a scene.

I was pretty certain that it was not a serious threat to begin with, however over 68% of people who voted in the poll wanted me to report it to authorities. Initially, I took it as a joke and was planning to take it lightly, but I was almost immediately contacted by someone saying that it was something that needed to be reported.

I was getting really mixed responses on what people thought that I should do, which is why I added the poll. If a majority of people were honestly that concerned about it, I really would not have been left with much of a choice but to report it to officials.

Let this be a lesson: DON’T BE STUPID, GUYS. Things like this can really frighten people and cause a lot of controversy.

Thanks for coming forward and not wasting more of my and everyone else’s time.

CP Cuddler Secret: To report, to not to report? POLL

So, the CP Cuddler secret I just received is stirring up a lot of attention already.

(The Diamondback’s blog has already caught wind of it.)

If you didn’t see the secret, it said, “I’m the College Park cuddler. Some may not understand why I like to get in bed with girls, but I think it’s the sexiest thing ever. To be in a bed with a girl who has no idea I’m there turns me on more than anything. I will strike again.”

**NOTE: If you sent me this secret or know who did, I suggest coming forward right now; particularly if you weren’t serious. It will save you, me, and everyone else A LOT of trouble in the long-run. 

I have a tough call to make as far as whether or not I need to report it to officials. Some are saying that I need to report it, while others are saying that it’s probably just a joke. Either way, should this person be reprimanded?

KEEP ALL OF THIS IN MIND BEFORE YOU VOTE: 

There was no valid name or e-mail address attached, and I don’t know that they would be able to do anything about it as far as figuring out who it was. And beyond that, would they be able to prove anything just from the post? Would the UMCP police even do anything about it?

From a “secret keeper” perspective, I feel as though I need to keep this under wraps. I want to keep my promise of not releasing names of secret-senders to the public.

From a journalistic perspective, I feel as though I need to get the word out there. I can’t help it, I think like a journalist. I always have, and I always will.

From a moral perspective, I feel as though I need to respect the safety of the students and the public interest. If you all really feel threatened by this, I might need to make the moral decision to protect everyone.

From a student’s perspective, I feel as though this is likely a joke, and this will cause me a lot of hassle, possibly for no reason. I know both how stupid students can be and how difficult dealing with the police can be.

I, of course, have the final say, but just out of curiosity, I want to hear what you think as UMD students.

Do you feel threatened? Is it worth the trouble? Could we actually catch the CP Cuddler?

Vote now and tell me what you think!